Saturday, July 12, 2008

The Journey

Hey all- I'm sure most of you know this by now, but I wanted to post something general about this to get the info out there, and to say it out loud again (it's helping me to admit it's real).

So, the bad news is that Eric and I lost our baby. At 9 weeks we went for an ultrasound and found out that the baby died at about 6 weeks. Some time later I may blog about the whole experience because I feel it might be helpful to others out there, and only as God leads me to. Suffice to say, it's full of pain, mercy, love, joy, peace, and agony. Amazing how one event can do all that. BUT, the good news is that we now know for sure that one of our kids is safe.

That is, SAFE in heaven with God. Never to sin. Never to turn away from God. Never to feel pain, struggle, or cry because someone was mean to him. Never to suffer. He was created, and then he was with God. The ultimate goal of every Christian parent is to raise kids that love the Lord, accept Him as their Saviour, and end up in heaven with Him. I could never wish for less for my son. I would not wish him here for one minute if it meant him not ending up in heaven.
But, it does hurt. Many times a day, for a variety of reasons.

Oh, and we did name him. Both Eric and I prayed and felt that the Lord answered that it was a boy- so David Alan Merz is now in heaven.

Psalm 63: 1-7
"Oh, God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land where no water is, to see thy power and thy glory , so as I have seen in the sanctuary. Because thy lovingkindness is better that life, my lips shall praise thee. Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips when I remember thee upon my bed , and meditate on thee in the night watches- because thou has been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings, will I rejoice."

Amen, and amen.


JulieMom said...

I love it that he has a name.

And I love you. You are brave and wonderful and honest. I miss you.

MaryD said...

I love you. I hold your family and baby David Alan in my thoughts and prayers. You know my number WHENEVER you need me.