Saturday, September 13, 2008

Oh my...

Today was an interesting day. This morning we went to soccer with the 3 kids, hubby is an assistant coach on the boy's team, and the baby and I roam between the fields for 2 1/2 hours each week showing our "family support". When hubby and I decided to have our kids involved in things, we decided that if at all possible, we would go to them as a family- hence my presence there each week.

This week was a little different- a very good friend of mine was there with her 3 week old baby boy. I saw them from across the field, went over and sat down with her and her husband. She offered to let me hold the baby- was very sweet about it- and so I did. I can't describe to you the total feeling of my mind and heart ripping in two at that time. Oh my, such a beautiful little newborn boy- soft, cute, smelling like a baby. Such happiness and joy for my friend and her family.

At the same time, such pain in my heart. I will never get to hold my son David as a 3 week old like that. I miss him. I still want him. And, it hurts. I could hardly keep the tears at bay while I talked with my friend- I didn't want to bring her sadness during this awesome time. I have been teary eyed all day since then.

Additionally, today was the day I was to prepare a meal for another friend who just had a baby. Hers is a boy too. Praise the Lord for my awesome husband who delivered it for me- no questions asked. I told him I've been sad about the baby today and he has asked me about 12 times if there's anything he can do for me. Thank you for that, Lord.

To add to my plate- my, ahem, "friend" has arrived as well. I keep telling the Lord that it is all in His control, but then my heart desires what it cannot have.

I am going to delve into the following scripture and make it my own for the rest of this weary day.

Psalm 35: 17-19, 22
The righteous cry, and the Lord heareth and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart,
and delivereth them out of all their troubles.
Many are the afflictions of the righteous,
but the Lord delivereth him out of them all.
The Lord redeemeth the soul of His servants,
and none of them that trust in Him shall be desolate.

Thanks for listening.


JulieMom said...

Wen- Sorry to hear you had a rough day of it. Tomorrow is a new day!!

His mercies are new every morning.

Love you.

MaryD said...

I LOVE you. ((((HUG))))

Darci Salisbury said...

Grief attacks, is what I call them. Sometimes I feel them coming, sometimes they crash hard and deep. They draw me closer to JEsus, and leave a pleasant delight when they are over. We are blessed. We grieve much, because we have loved much! Heaven is sweeter, isn't it? I love you my friend. I am sorry for your grief. Thank you for Psalm 40 - did you know that's my rhema from Tuck's death day? You bless me so .....