Gobstoppers and Snoring- Oh me, Oh my!

I love my husband. A lot. He is a great daddy and provider, faithful, kind and fun. We actually LIKE to spend time together, and have fun when we do. He has a great sense of humor (one assumes this because he's married to me!), and is sweet too.

BUT,(you knew it was coming right?), BUT:

He snores, really loud. Most nights, he is only able to rattle the window blinds, but sometimes he can actually make the roof of the house pulsate up and down.

I'm not exaggerating-- ask anyone who has stayed overnight in our home and they will testify!

Being a light sleeper, I am forced to wear earplugs at night so I can sleep. Amazingly, I can still hear the kids when they cry (curse you, mommy hearing)!

I have been through numerous styles and types of plugs over the years, and have found the best kind are the ones they hand out at the rifle range- yellow, thick, about the size of a grape, made out of foam. Because this is a way of life for me, they can be found in many places in my bedroom-- drawers, dressers, cups by the bed, and the top drawer of my bedside table. Sometimes, because they are kind of hard, I take them out in the night while I'm sleeping, and will find them in the morning in my bed, nightgown, or floor. When this happens, I will inevitably be awakened in the night by the jackhammer sound of snoring. Then I must fumble around in the dark and try to find a replacement for that ear so peaceful sleep can be resumed.

Enter, the gobstopper. One of the other things my hubby and I have in common is a love of childhood candy-- like bottlecaps, smarties, and the ever popular gobstopper. Now, not to make you think we're slobs or anything, but occasionally the candy makes it to the bedroom as part of our TV watching. And occasionally, the kids find it and spill it-- like in my bedside table drawer.

You can see where this is going, right?

On Friday night, we actually got to go out, alone. As in, NO KIDS! We had dinner, went to a movie and got home late. In fact, I kept remarking to hubby on the drive how how many cops were out-- but it was Friday night at midnight! I had to drive the babysitter home, and got back at close to 1:30 am. Needless to say, hubby was sawing some serious logs by the time I got in bed. I fell right asleep, but must've taken out the plug in my right ear immediately, because I woke up not 20 minutes later. Now mind you, I had a 19 hour day, drove to my moms and back (3hours total round trip), and then 1 hour total round trip for the babysitter, so I was TIRED. When I woke up, I was in that nether land of exhaustion where the line between awake and asleep is very fine.

So, as I fumbled in the drawer for an earplug, I was thinking any semi-spherical shaped item would be GREAT! As I was attempting to cram this thing into my ear, I was fuzzily thinking something like, "Hum, this really isn't going in....Oh my, the snoring is SO loud-- get in there plug, NOW!! Ouch, it's in but not really blocking out the sound?!? What the???? It's hard!"

I had to turn on the light, and then the truth was revealed. It was an orange gobstopper, not a yellow earplug. The hubby was yanking the pillows over his head, groaning "the light, turn off the light"; and I was trying not to scream, laugh and cry all at the same time.
I did finally find a real earplug, and got to sleep some time later.

So, the moral of the story is: never allow gobstoppers in your bedroom, 'cuz you never know where they'll turn up!

Also, my ear smells nice and orangey, now.

Carlos, Part Deux

Everything was honkey-dorey with the TV until we moved it back into the TV room. My hubby was really busy at work, so it didn't get moved back until the following week- about 6 days after the party.

And guess what-- he plugged the box in, turned it on, and started pushing buttons, AGAIN!

And guess what else-- it didn't work, AGAIN!

So, Wendymom to the rescue-- I called the cable company, again. And got the following:

C: "Time Warner Cable, this is Carlos, how may I help you?"

Now, you know I thought seriously about hanging up out of sheer embarrassment! I thought for sure he would mildly scold me at the least, or perhaps double my bill for calling in twice in one week with the same problem! But since I abhor those automated "push this now" phone systems and didn't want to call back in, I took a deep breath and in my humblest voice said:

WM "Um, hi, we had to move our TV and box, and now we don't have a signal?"

Carlos (with laughter in his voice), then confirmed my address and telephone number.
After I assured him that I was indeed the same person from a week before, he graciously told me, AGAIN, to have my hubby STEP-AWAY-FROM-THE-TV-AND-REMOTE so he could reset it from there. Because apparently all you have to do when you unplug and replug the box is WAIT for the clock to reset and once it does, the system has already turned itself back on.

So, during the second interval of 5 minutes while we waited, we got caught up on how the party went, how his kids were, if the Bill can actually ever rebuild to the glory years of 5 Superbowls (yeah, I know they never won, but they went 5 times), and just what ARE the odds of my calling in and getting him again on the phone?!? They are about 70 to one, just in case you're curious.

All that said, I have decided he can be my new best friend because he was so non-accusatory and kind when he had to re-instruct me on this, is a nice conversationalist, we have the same number of kids, like the same football team, and now both know how to re-set a cable box! The fact that he was getting paid for the conversation doesn't really bother me.

But truthfully, I was impressed with how pleasant he was to deal with. A far cry from "we'll be there when we get there, and charge you for whatever we want".

And to my other best friends, the bar has been raised! Get to crack-a-lackin'!

Carlos, My New Best Friend

This is really Part 2 of the High School Musical Extravaganza Post.

For you see, the party could not have happened had we not moved the large TV into the living room so that there were seats enough for all of us. For those unschooled in the fine technology of digital cable, when you unplug the cable box and then plug it back in, something happens to it.

Namely, it no longer works!

Especially when your over-eager (read impatient) husband turns it on before it's ready and then pushes many buttons in attempts to get it to work.

Enter: Carlos- Customer Service Rep from Time Warner Cable.

While the following may not be an exact transcript, it's close enough to get the picture:

C: "Time Warner Cable, this is Carlos, how may I help you?'
WM: "OK, we moved the TV and cable box for our HSM 2 party, which starts NOW I might add, and now have no reception!" (said very rapidly, and with slight hysteria).
C: "What did you do after you moved it?"
WM: "Plugged it in, and pushed like 30 buttons to try and re-set it. I swear, it wasn't me, it was the husband, but now we can't get any channels!"

**Now mind you, the previously mentioned 5 kids are running around in the background screaming "The TV's broke!! Fix it!! We can't watch the movie without it!! Daddy, what's wrong with the TV? Daddy, can I help? Uncle E, what ya doin' behind there?" , and various encouraging, low stress things like that! The husband is behind the TV, plugging and unplugging, with the remote, pushing buttons like it's going out of style-- very patiently as is his wont; while I ask him the answers to Carlos's questions and then relay the answers to him**

C: "OK Mrs. -----, tell your husband to step away from the TV, put down the remote, and DON"T TOUCH ANYTHING-- I'm resetting it from here." (I swear this is a direct quote)

After I relayed this distressing news to hubby, we were then instructed to wait until the system rest and the clock turned up on the box. By the way, this takes about 5 minutes, so I had nothing to do but have a conversation with Carlos-- I mean, who wants to just sit in silence on the phone together with a stranger-- let's make friends!

C: "So, you guys are having a party huh?"
WM: "Yup, we got pizza and cupcakes, 5 kids running around, and we're going to watch the first HSM now before the 2nd comes on. You can come over if you want." (Yeah, because I always invite complete strangers from the cable company to come hang out at my house!)
C: "You got wings with the pizza?"
WM:" No, not this time."
C:"I'm not coming then. " (Because apparently for Carlos, it just isn't a party without wings).

The conversation went on for a while, until the clock came back on and the cable reset. I can tell you Carlos is a nice guy and has 3 kids. He is such a big Buffalo Bills fan that he has an autographed picture with his baby and the current quarterback from training camp, and is going to the Miami/Buffalo game this year.

After the trauma was over and we had cable again, Carlos told me how to reset the box in the future when we need to move it again. And I thought that was all.... BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

High School Musical 2 Extravaganza

Ok, so apparently THIS time my blog is saving this entry. I think it's safe to try and post it now. This being my 3rd attempt at this post, I would probably just scream if I typed the whole entry again and had it disappear!

So, if you all have been anxiously awaiting this post, blame it on the internet, radiation, or whatever force it is that ERASED this entry the last 2 times I put it in. It's probably the same thing that eats socks out of the dryer...

I think I mentioned in a previous entry that we house missionary families in our home, and the current resident is Juliemom and her crew. Well, one of the great things that she and I have in common is a love for the High School Musical Movie. Now, for those who have read her blog, Juliemom apparently had an awesome time in high school. I base this on her responses to a questionnaire, in which it was clear to me that she was very smart, popular, and was in every play/musical offered during her tenure there. So, for obvious reasons, Juliemom gets misty-eyed and nostalgic for the good ol' days when watching HSM. After all, she had a awesome time in high school.

Me, not so much.

But, I do like the movie because it represents a fantasy-land version of high school that looks like so much fun it almost makes me want to go back and do it all over again!

What with the singing and dancing in the cafeteria and all....
And the cute boys...

The fact that there were absolutely NO BOYS at my school (other than 40 year old driver's ed and social studies teachers) may have something to do with it. No boys, but we did in fact have some really mean nuns, lots of Sharpay types, and truly lovely uniforms.

Oh, the uniforms. Don't get me started..

I also like the movie because it is a cute teen musical that is actually CLEAN, unlike, say Greece--which if you haven't seen it lately, appears to be all about who "scores" with the chicks, and how much they score. I saw it since becoming a Christian, and was like, WOOF! I used to watch this and think it was awesome?!?!?

Anyhoona, Juliemom and I being such phenomenal moms and all, decided that the appropriate response to the premier of the HSM 2 movie was to have a little party for our kids so we could all watch it together on the big screen TV.

Did I mention that between the 2 families, there are 6 children under the age of 7 currently in our home? And 5 of them are girls? So the squealing and giggling quotient rises EXPONENTIALLY when HSM comes on and they are all in the same room!

We truly do enjoy each other's company, and the kids get along great, so it is really fun to do these communal living type gatherings now and then.

But, did I say little party?

Surely, you jest. If you know Juliemom at all, you know she does very few things in a "little" way. As you look at the following pictures, make sure you note how many of them were my doing, and how many were hers!

Also, remind me to tell you about my new friend Carlos. Because without him, there would have been no party!


The men moving the extra-large TV! Yes, that would be my husband's BUTT on the right hand side, whilst the "prince" poses for the camera.


This would be the table o' goodies that we prepared. I say "we" in the most generic of terms- and my contribution was the undecorated cupcakes, some balloons, and the table itself. Juliemom went a little nuts with the HSM Party Planner Book, and made all the rest! Now, don't you all want her to come live in your house too???




Pretty scary awesome, huh?


Mum, mum, good!

Now, I know you all want to be my new best friend so you too can come and experience these type of rockin' gatherings!

"Wendy-isms"......A Tutorial

It all started in grade school. My love of books and the written word. I can remember entering kindergarten, being able to read, and freaking my teacher out! I used to spend absolutely, HOURS, reading and reading more. My favorite place was the library-- I would walk down after school , and stay until supper-time-- coming home with an armload of books for later.

Now, lest you all think I was a total geek-- I can say that I had an entire set of Encyclopedia Brittanica in my closet, and I used to read through those when my books would run out.
Geeky, oh yes ma'am!!

So, the natural outgrowth of this love of words, is that I started inventing words of my very own. For my personal use. The fact that they are no where to be found in any dictionary has never discouraged me.

When people look at me funny, I think they are just dazzled by my ultra-intelligent way with the English language!

Needless to say, some of these words have caught on with friends and family; while some have just become such a part of my vocabulary that I am no longer aware of the fact that they are indeed, made up.

So, when Juliemom was looking for a name for my blog, she chose one of my favorite expressions "crack-a-lackin'". I'm so glad she did, because I truly did not know how to spell it- even if I wanted to submit it to Webster's.

And I'll just say that I was doing this WAY before Rachael Ray was using EVOO, yum-o etc.

Here's a short list, with definitions for you all for future reference. There will be a test at the end, so pay attention now.

"Crack-A-Lackin"=== Get busy, NOW!! Move it, no questions asked!

"Anyhoona"===Anyhow, so really what I meant to say was, moving on...

"Deficient"=== Strangely, this is my sarcastic way of saying "efficient".
***Writers note, I am not usually sarcastic. Really, I'm not. (wink, smile)****

"Ginormous"=== Absolutely gigantic and enormous combined.
****Yes, I know they put this one in the dictionary this year, but I had it first! First, I tell ya"

"Lane Giant"=== My affectionate term for the store I buy most of my clothes in!

Of course now that I'm actually trying to make an exhaustive list, my mind is a total BLANK.
So, I'll edit this post in the future to add more as I hear them coming out of my mouth-- that is, if I recognize them!

Welcome to the Blog, Really!

So, after I realized what a gift it was from Juliemom to me to set up my blog-- just think of the hair dye she saved me from having to buy-- I realized I should probably make a post that would be representative of myself to give people an introduction.

Here it is.

I am a happily married, mom of three, saved Christian lady. I quit a part-time job as a RN in the surgical ICU of a local hospital to stay home and homeschool my kids. Last year we bought a HUGE house (read lots of cleaning time), but the cool part is that we have a missionary apartment in the basement, and so we get to be a part of sending missionaries all over the world. Our first housemates were Janice's family, and the current are JulieMom and her brood. What an awesome privilege and ministry for our family.

Contrary to the title of my blog, I am NOT from a southernly located state-- see a coming soon post regarding my "wendy-isms".

Also, I leave you with the immortal words of Boomama "I love me some Jesus."

Alright, Already!!!

So, apparently, I now have a blog. I feel as if that should be somehow related to a trip to the doctor, chiropracter, gynecologist-- I dunno, it just sounds strange.

There are some seriously HUGE shoes out there in the blog-world, the likes of which I have no desire and/or intention of trying to fill. However, I am willing to try it-- I think I'll take FriedOkra's advice and try it for a month... and if not completely satisfied, my money back-- I'm sure!

So, be watching for a blog coming soon regarding a serious High School Musical 2 Party.

And some retaliation to my good friend Juliemom.

You see, I know where she lives..............

Hiya! Welcome to Wendy's Blog. I'm Your Host, JulieMom

Hey there! Welcome to Wendy's blog. I am the moderator today, JulieMom. This blog has been started against Wendy's will. She now has no reason not to inundate us with her daily 'hoopla', and interestingness.

Hope you'll come back and check out the funny and thoughtful things Wendy will surely have to say once she gets the hang of the 'blogging thing'.

Welcome to the Blogosphere, Wendy!! We look forward to many posts in the NEAR future.

I love you, my friend.

:0)